So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
