no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
