I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
