how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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