awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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