i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
