Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
