I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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