i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
