IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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