that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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