Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
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You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
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You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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