Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
