If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
