woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
