I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
