you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
