I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
