You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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