I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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