yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
