it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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