But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
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Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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