I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize