Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ketchup is God's man juice
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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