the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
