how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We're too hungover to prance.
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