roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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