He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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