it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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