glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
