Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
