addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
