so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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