Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
