I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
