considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
