i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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