I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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