Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize