We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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