AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
