I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Randomize
