Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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