All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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