I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
