his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wish you could order shots online.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she peed on how many people?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
