idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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