so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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