That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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