i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
