So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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