I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
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I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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