have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
