Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
