I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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