hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
