yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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