I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
