her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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