Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
